tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post7266552508188485742..comments2023-10-30T08:00:54.059-04:00Comments on Laurel's Leaves: Overwriting (part 5): Wordy constructionsLaurel Garverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03657218435228802535noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-43059167585053352062010-06-28T13:50:24.580-04:002010-06-28T13:50:24.580-04:00That's a great list! It's amazing what a d...That's a great list! It's amazing what a difference it makes when you turn a keen editing eye to these problem areas.Portiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13435815819572442582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-34746767058727657782010-06-28T12:56:16.026-04:002010-06-28T12:56:16.026-04:00Marvelous tips and examples! I've had critique...Marvelous tips and examples! I've had critiquers point these out before, but it so helpful to have them all summarized, I will definitely use this as a reference.Margo Berendsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03476308235642890474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-2593071519327095402010-06-26T08:28:07.408-04:002010-06-26T08:28:07.408-04:00Great post as usual Laurel. I'm off the blogs ...Great post as usual Laurel. I'm off the blogs this week, but I'll link it on my Cool Links Friday when I return. :DStinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11415189347501942340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-643655315364922732010-06-25T10:55:42.148-04:002010-06-25T10:55:42.148-04:00AA: hmm, I just re-read your editor's comment ...AA: hmm, I just re-read your editor's comment and think she meant antecedent more loosely as "reference point" or "thing referred to"--(which as far as I can see is an idosyncratic way to use this grammar term). I think she's saying make sure you're clear about what modifies what in a sentence.Laurel Garverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03657218435228802535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-67610002714739856682010-06-25T09:11:57.788-04:002010-06-25T09:11:57.788-04:00ok thanks, no problem :)ok thanks, no problem :)Jessica Bellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10889900730906728317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-3129449116339543962010-06-25T09:09:32.081-04:002010-06-25T09:09:32.081-04:00AA: Would you hate it too much if I addressed this...AA: Would you hate it too much if I addressed this in detail in a future "editor-on-call" post?<br /><br />Here are your temporary quickie answers:<br />"misplaced modifiers" mean your descriptions are in the wrong part of the sentence--too far away from what they are describing. LOTS of parts of speech behave as descriptions, but I'll go into that in my more detailed post.<br /><br />An antecedent is the noun/subject a pronoun refers to. In the sentence "He stepped closer," it should always be clear who the heck HE is. If not, you have an "unclear antecedent." Again, I'll cover this in detail soon.Laurel Garverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03657218435228802535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-1111162826366345972010-06-25T09:01:47.552-04:002010-06-25T09:01:47.552-04:00Victoria: Aw, thanks. I always worry about boring ...Victoria: Aw, thanks. I always worry about boring people with grammar posts. :-D<br /><br />Karen: Glad it was helpful.<br /><br />Jamie: I've begun trimming some of those "other perpetrators." In YA it's tough to balance a colloquial voice (which can be wordy like that) with conciseness. <br /><br />Rosslyn: It's why I blog--these hard-won lessons are too good not to share with someone.Laurel Garverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03657218435228802535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-69268497017175794942010-06-25T08:49:53.664-04:002010-06-25T08:49:53.664-04:00Eric: Ha! I like lush rather than sparse writing. ...Eric: Ha! I like lush rather than sparse writing. However, I write in a genre with austere word count restrictions, so I'm hyper conscious of not wasting words on things like clunky verb forms.<br /><br />Sandy: You're most welcome. The first few were problems I saw constantly in business writing. If you're using them, your narrative voice will sound like a CPA. :-D<br /><br />Susan: Glad you found it useful.<br /><br />Simon: I did include a disclaimer to that effect in the beginning, my friend. Passive writing and use of nominals are beloved by pompous windbags for sure (How's THAT for a passive sentence?). You're absolutely correct that these wordy forms can be useful for creating such a voice. <br /><br />JEM: I hope my disclaimer made it clear that passive writing is weaker and sounds overwritten and a little pompous--reserve it for pompous bureaucrat characters.Laurel Garverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03657218435228802535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-10673376988234383232010-06-25T05:45:58.920-04:002010-06-25T05:45:58.920-04:00Hi! I got this comment in a critique of mine and I...Hi! I got this comment in a critique of mine and I have NO idea what it means. Could you shed some light? I feel so stupid, but I just don't get the terminology: "Misplaced modifiers. I’m seeing this phenomenon all the time with my clients! You do this just a little, but watch your antecedents. "Jessica Bellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10889900730906728317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-3745584132926439302010-06-24T23:44:43.515-04:002010-06-24T23:44:43.515-04:00Great specifics in this post. Thanks for helping o...Great specifics in this post. Thanks for helping other writers!Rosslyn Elliotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11304732306399786236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-49959969165536664252010-06-24T20:57:00.320-04:002010-06-24T20:57:00.320-04:00Excellent post! I'm guilty of wordiness and ...Excellent post! I'm guilty of wordiness and it's something I'm working on...;)Lunahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08284738955789123035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-5591250499155495332010-06-24T19:53:49.170-04:002010-06-24T19:53:49.170-04:00More good stuff, thanks! :)More good stuff, thanks! :)Karen Langehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18177923284595298347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-51563859679475288452010-06-24T18:19:22.212-04:002010-06-24T18:19:22.212-04:00Great post, Laurel! As always. :)Great post, Laurel! As always. :)Victoria Dixonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14012092208934951963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-25401548051610959432010-06-24T17:14:10.759-04:002010-06-24T17:14:10.759-04:00If it's an unnecessary prepositional phrase, p...If it's an unnecessary prepositional phrase, pretty sure it's in my WIP. Although this post makes me feel better about cutting all that crap out :)<br /><br />Although I do agree with Simon that somethings breaking the rules is just the thing to do.JEMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04043891292719086478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-7555723501381439042010-06-24T16:33:04.551-04:002010-06-24T16:33:04.551-04:00All of this is wunderbar advice, good lady, and I ...All of this is wunderbar advice, good lady, and I wholeheartedly agree. EXCEPT... there are cases in which the voice one is aiming for in a certain piece calls for a bit of overwriting. As an example, if the controlling POV is supposed to be a bit pompous, "on account of the fact that" might actually be a better than the paltry "since."<br /><br />As always, if it works, then breaking the rules is perfectly acceptable. <br /><br />(I'm such a rebel.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-19689306506747959882010-06-24T15:10:51.713-04:002010-06-24T15:10:51.713-04:00Hi Laurel -
Thanks for the excellent lesson. This...Hi Laurel -<br /><br />Thanks for the excellent lesson. This one's a keeper. :)<br /><br />Blessings,<br />SusanSusan J. Reinhardthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07461276857852409546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-36643827846716124022010-06-24T13:53:35.912-04:002010-06-24T13:53:35.912-04:00Thank you! These are really, really great advice. ...Thank you! These are really, really great advice. I often use wordy constructions, and need to actively look out for them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4263988256560129564.post-13198539224740138712010-06-24T12:45:41.008-04:002010-06-24T12:45:41.008-04:00Fine examples to keep you sharp! Being concise is ...Fine examples to keep you sharp! Being concise is important (xx not just in your stories, but xx) in your blog posts and comments as well. <br /><br />It's good practice to cleave out words (xx in your posts before xx) submitting.<br /><br /> - EricEric W. Tranthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13842968931062056407noreply@blogger.com