Tapping into a character's interior world and showing thoughts that are never spoken can be another way of punching up a scene. The real trick is to write "non telling" thoughts. One of the ways to do that came to me, strangely, while editing an essay about Knut Hamsun at work. The author of the piece was from Denmark, and my mind made the association he's Danish...mmm, I could go for a danish. Wouldn't knut hamsun be the perfect name for a rich, eggy dessert bread full of pecans, sultanas and candied cherries? I posted some of these random thoughts on Facebook, and a friend piped up, "you must be hungry." Of course, I was hungry. Ridiculously hungry. Those strange associations said it colorfully and memorably, much more than if I'd made my status "Laurel is hungry."
So when you want to tell it slant in your character's inner monologues, remember "random associations" as yet another way of showing, rather than telling, how you character feels.
Ever played word association games with your character? How might he or she respond when asked to name the next thing in his/her head when hearing these words: home, trouble, desire, peace, friend, normal?
*Yes, it's another repost from my early blogging days. I don't want to entirely neglect the blog, but I'm on fire with revisions right now--completely rewrote three chapters in under a month, and just got critiques back last night to make them shiny. Ideas for revising the back end of the book are popcorning in my brain. Back to work!