Thursday, July 07, 2011

Posted by Laurel Garver on Thursday, July 07, 2011 9 comments
By Jen Daiker, Hufflepuff

HOGSMEDE, INVERNESS—The secret is out at Hogwarts. A certain someone in a black robe has been receiving love letters from a student.

Have you noticed your girl doesn’t seem as interested in you? You’re not able to sweep her off her feet, even on the Quidditch Pitch? She may be hiding something.

Recently I’ve come across a secret stash of love letters to none other than Professor Snape. I can’t reveal my sources, but suffice it to say, I’ve cracked into a secret club more exclusive than Dumbledore’s Army. If you’re a member, watch your back—and your intimate correspondence.

The Hopeless Romantic
My Dearest Severus,

My feelings for you grow stronger every day. You respect me enough to let me know about my homework ahead of time. You praise me when you praise no one else for a job well done. No one has ever in my life talked to me the way you do. We’ve gone through so much together all ready, like the day when a student set his hair on fire. I believe we could get through anything.

You and I are destined to become the fairytale romance I’ve dreamt about. I’ve read many stories and listened to my friends’ stories of their childish crushes. But my love is for you is so much more—deep, rooted and true. I hope you feel the same.

Yours Truly,
Wanna be yours 4-Ever

Conjure Up My Love
Snape,

I hope we can share a moment sometime during this school year and see where the sparks go. It’s my last year and I know I’ll need lots and lots of one-on-one tutoring in order to excel in my potions N.E.W.T. I’ve also scheduled my classes to make sure they’re close to you. If only we could slip away somewhere romantic to have lunch. How magical it would be.

I have an idea. Since you are indeed the potions master it would be nice if you could conjure up some polyjuice potion so we could meet in secret. You may have been thinking love potion but I don’t roll that way. I know our love is true. We can make this work.

Always,
Lover Gurl

Hidden Love
Steal-my-heart Snape,

I love you so much and you just don't know it. Sometimes I get scared to show it. It feels like when you come around me my mouth becomes grid-locked and all the words I want to say just stop.

My lips clutter because my love is so strong. Your eyes shine like big, glittery beetles. Your words flow like delicious butterbeer. Sometimes I want to open up to you and tell you how I feel --I guess I am too scared to open up and be real. Maybe one day I’ll have the courage, for now I’ll just pray for the perfect love potion.

I hope you share these hidden feelings too. I love you.

Thinking of you,
Never stop our love


Jen Daiker loves transfiguration, fizzing whizbees, and is a founding member of S.P.E.W. She has also been known to dabble with polyjuice potion. She blogs at unedited.

Thestral Gazette is an unofficial publication for students of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Founded by Luna Lovegood and Colin Creevy, the tabloid continues its fine tradition of yellow journalism under the editorship of Laurel Garver and a large staff of student reporters. To join the reporting staff, contact us at thestralgazette (at) gmail (dot) com.

See all the back issues at our archive site:
THESTRAL GAZETTE

Do you think Snape is crush-worthy? Why or why not? Which of the teachers do you love most?

9 comments:

  1. Love it. "Your eyes shine like big, glittery beetles. Your words flow like delicious butterbeer." I have to take note of these pick-up lines. What a turn-on! ;-)

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  2. *Giggles* You're all too much. Laurel is a brilliant helper with perfecting our pieces. I feel so cool being a part of something so awesome!!!

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  3. I love this! Snape is my favorite Harry Potter character, and I am not ashamed to say I have a crush on him. :D

    Thanks Laurel and Jen!

    P.S. I would be a Hufflepuff, too.

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  4. Oh, Jen,

    You are devilishly clever... finding out about a secret club even more exclusive than the DA.... What will people think? Could she be one of them?
    Dare I say it? A, A ..... No! I don't even want to think it!

    Too fun. Loved this!

    Thanks Laurel for allowing us flex our newsworthy muscles in your fantastic newspaper.

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  5. Matthew: Jen is quite the cunning reporter, isnt' she?

    Melissa: That butterbeer line is full of win, isn't it? LOL.

    Jen: Thanks again for the fun piece!!

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  6. Shelley: Aha! Clearly it is your alter ego writing these letters, isn't it?? ;-)

    Michael: I wonder if Jen had borrowed an invisibility cloak from a certain Gryffidor. Alas, she won't tell even me, her editor!

    Thank YOU for joining in my kooky scheme to create a Hogwarts underground newspaper. It's been a blast so far!

    GE: Thanks! If you liked this, check out our archive site--we have two months' worth of articles there.

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  7. Hee hee! Those aren't love letters from Malfoy, are they?

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