Friday, October 19, 2012

Posted by Laurel Garver on Friday, October 19, 2012 12 comments
Fellow Rabble Writer Madeline Sharples invited me to take part in The Look Challenge for writers. The premise is simple: find a passage in your manuscript or book that contains the word “look,” post it on your blog, and tag five other blogging writers to do the same.

Here's my excerpt, from Chapter 2 of my debut:

As I head toward the bathroom, a flash of blue by the front door catches my eye. Dad’s terry robe. And Dad, straightening frames. He frowns, probably deciding whether to swap some photos. When he gets to the second row, he turns and motions to me. Come.

My hands shake so badly I almost drop my makeup case. He’s still here. Right here. Maybe the phone call, the hospital, the surgeries weren’t real. Just a very vivid nightmare. My feet carry the rest of me, like a sleepwalker, toward him.

When I get there, he’s gone. Before me is the magic photo: the one split second in my short life that I look incredible. It’s not a coiffed, polished glamour shot. No, I’m sweaty and my clothes are rumpled. But I’m floating four feet in the air, my gawky tallness curved like a curlicue C around the high jump bar. My leading arm is like a ballerina’s, legs steely and lean, face full of happy peace. A swan moment.

I tag the following friends:
Deniz Bevan
Faith Elizabeth Hough
Connie Keller
Melissa Pearl
Melanie Schulz

I was surprised that "look" didn't appear more frequently in my story, which has as a theme "good vision" or seeing things correctly, rather than filtered through prejudices and pre-jududgments.

How much "look" ing happens in your work? Is vision the primary sense, or are your stories more strongly auditory and sound-centered?
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12 comments:

  1. Hi, Laurel. Thanks for taking the Look Challenge. I love your excerpt. The wall of photos is so reminiscent of our photo walls. And your swan moment is a wow!
    Best,
    Madeline

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    1. Thanks for the challenge, Madeline. It was fun. Her swan moment is in realizing the beauty of skill and accomplishment, rather than simply being pretty.

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  2. Thanks for tagging me! This should be fun...and hopefully not too revealing. I have to edit a lot of "looks" out of my first drafts... :)
    I love your excerpt!

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    1. Hooray! I'm glad you're willing to play along. And thanks for your kind words. :-)

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  3. I've seen this around the blogosphere and it's hilarious! I have to check my wips and see what words I might be overusing.

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    1. It was billed to me as a way of finding commonalities among all kinds of writing, and an opportunity to share a small snippet. Look is one of those verbs that everyone uses, whether you write self-help, fantasy or realistic fiction.

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  4. Interesting excerpt! I love your descriptions.

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    1. Thanks! It's good to see you--it's been a while! :-)

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  5. Vivid excerpt! I especially love the last bit of description about the high bar.

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    1. High jump is one of those sports where the athletes genuinely look like they can fly. It's really cool.

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  6. I love your blog! I am your newest follower and was hoping that you would stop by my blog and return the favor! ;-)

    www.enjoyingtheepiphany.com

    Thanks,
    Sarah

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  7. "my gawky tallness curved like a curlicue C around the high jump bar." Gorgeous!

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