Friday, May 20, 2011

Posted by Laurel Garver on Friday, May 20, 2011 10 comments
By Melissa Sarno, Hufflepuff

LONDON—Bulgarian National Quidditch player Viktor Krum was once again spotted with actress Anastasiya Dilov. The two attended last night’s premiere of her latest film, The Non-magical Exploding Tuba, a satirical take on the Muggle opera The Magic Flute.

The pair have been known for their tumultuous relationship, which began when the Bulgarian social climber crashed the Krum family’s annual pig roast. The known vegetarian reportedly used the Aguamenti spell and was said to have “wreaked havoc” on what was supposed to have been a “private family affair.” Despite her unorthodox methods, Dilov quickly won Krum over. “The girl’s got guts,” the six foot heartthrob said with his signature fist pump.

Of course, others argue that she may also wreak havoc on the famed Seeker’s heart.

Their initial split occurred while Dilov was filming on location in Romania. After Dilov was photographed hand in hand with an unidentified red-haired wizard, Krum reportedly went into a blind rage.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said a member of the film crew. “He apparated there in minutes and nearly took down the set with a Bombarda spell. If he wasn’t so worried that the International Quidditch Association would suspend him, I’m not sure what would have happened.”

Last night, however, the couple was all smiles, despite the fact that questions of Dilov’s fidelity are once again in play. The fashion icon wore a rare dragon skin coat to the premiere, claiming it was “a gift from a friend.”

“Galleons can’t buy that kind of thing,” said renowned fashion designer Augustus Tuttle. “I don’t even want to think about what a person would have to do to get a coat like that.”

Krum declined to comment, but was overheard muttering, “How should I know what she keeps in her drawers?”

Melissa Sarno is Thestral Gazette’s celebrity reporter and co-president of the Herbology Club. When she’s not up to her ankles in mooncalf dung, you can find her accompanying the Frog Choir on harpsichord or writing Witch Lit in the Hogwarts Library. She blogs at http://melissasarno.com/.


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Thestral Gazette is an unofficial publication for students of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Founded by Luna Lovegood and Colin Creevy, the tabloid continues its fine tradition of yellow journalism under the editorship of Laurel Garver and a large staff of student reporters. To join the reporting staff, contact us at thestralgazette (at) gmail (dot) com.

Which celebrity of the wizarding world should Melissa investigate next?

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10 comments:

  1. Thanks for hosting me, Laurel! You rooock!

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  2. Great article Melissa! I've been wondering about those two for a while now. :)

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  3. Stine: Melissa did a great job on her story, didn't she?

    Melissa: It was my pleasure. Thanks for the fabulous post!

    Holly: Come back next week for more fun!

    Janet: I'm equally curious about the red-haired boyfriend hinted at. Might be a Weasley who works with dragons. :-)

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  4. Ha! I love it! Clever as always, Laurel!

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  5. OMG, this was AWESOME.

    For another article, I vote for an investigation of Millicent Bulstrode. I think she's part troll, personally.

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  6. This is fun. I was just thinking about your Gazette the other day.

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  7. Well done, Melissa. I like the celebrity reporter angle on this! A fun read.

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  8. PK: Come back for more fun in weeks to come!

    Lydia: It sure is. Melissa rocked her article! And thanks for the article idea.

    Mary: Glad you enjoyed it.

    Michael: Her angle worked great. So funny.

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