Wednesday, June 8

Posted by Laurel Garver on Wednesday, June 08, 2011 14 comments
Oh, happy day! I am pleased to announce the winners of my Triplicity celebration and contest.

I'll begin with the skills portion of the contest. This was a fun one to judge, though I think I may have pulled a muscle busting a gut too many times.

The World's Worst Metaphors and Similes winners are (in alpha order by author):

Kayeleen Hamblin of Kayeleen's Creation Corner

The water fell like the tinkling of a grown man with bladder incontinence.

PK Hrezo of My Fiction Addiction

He persistence was like that of a dog returning time and again with a slobbery rope toy no one wants to play with.

Janet Johnson of Musings of a Children's Writer

His suitcase was as heavy as Grandma's pudding and twice as tasty.

Okay, funny gals, you may choose any one of the following:
~a 10-page detailed critique
~10 pages of copy editing
~an editorial overview of up to 50 pages, outlining areas for growth
~a character naming consultation. I'll help you research and find/create up to three character names, any genre.

Please drop me a line at laurels (dot) leaves (at) gmail (dot) com to arrange your prize of my time/expertise.

And now for the lucky one, the winner of a $30 Amazon gift certificate!

Who do you suppose came up as my random drawing winner?

. . .

Wait for it...

Who will get an Amazon shopping spree?

Who, oh, who?

Seriously, who?

Are you tingling with anticipation yet?

How cruel can I be?

Tell us already!

Okay, okay, don't get violent, friends.

According to RANDOM.ORG,

who so efficiently scrambled my long, long list of entrants,

the winner is...

Jenna Wallace!
of Writing in the Dreamstate

Congrats, Jenna! Drop me a line at laurels (dot) leaves (at) gmail (dot) com with your preferred e-mail address and I'll arrange delivery of your $30 gift certificate. Happy shopping!

Don't forget to come back tomorrow for Thestral Thursday. That's right, it's another issue of our Hogwarts underground newspaper, the Thestral Gazette. The lovely Lisa Galek of Read. Write. Repeat. will bring us a batch of juicy school gossip gathered by her alter ego, Belicia Babble.

Which of the winning similes struck you as funniest? Why?


  1. Congratulations to the winners! :)

  2. If they were all like that, how could you possibly choose? Mine is the best, of course!

  3. Congratulations to the winners. The entries are pretty funny. Tasty suitcase, yum.

  4. YAY! Thanks for the awesome prizes!! :) Now, to decide ... hmmm.....

  5. Congratulations to all the lucky winners. I'm a little jealous. ; )

  6. Woot! Thanks so much! It would have been an honor just to be nominated!
    email would be jennawallace1 (at) gmail (dot) com.

    And I thought all three were hilarious, each for different reasons. So much more creative than me. Good work!

  7. Great job to the winners. I just wish I wasn't drinking Diet Dr Pepper while reading the really bad metaphors. *wipes the computer screen dry*

  8. Haha! I love the winners--reminds me of some student metaphor and similes!

  9. Woo hoo! Thank you! And congrats to the other winners. I'll be e-mailing soon, and I can't wait for your feedback. (Cause I know how great your critiques are!)

    I did like that first simile . . . totally groan-worthy! :D Loved it.

  10. Ge: they did great, didn't they?

    Kayeleen: It was so hard to choose! Congrats on your win. I think the word "tinkle" always makes me laugh!

    Y2: Yum indeed. LOL.

  11. PK: Looking forward to seeing what you choose. Thanks for the laugh!

    Theresa: Thanks for entering just the same. Wish I had the budget to give prizes to all my wonderful bloggy friends like you.

    Christine: Thanks for the well wishes.

  12. Jenna: It was fate! I'll send you a test message to verify your address before sending the certificate.

    Stina: Hope no soda got in the keyboard! LOL.

    Stephanie: Indeed. I loved the ones you'd posted so much, it inspired the contest. Thanks for the inspiration!

  13. Janet: Congrats. I still howl at your suitcase simile. Non sequitur at its hilarious best!!