Thursday, June 09, 2011

Posted by Laurel Garver on Thursday, June 09, 2011 13 comments
by Belicia Babble, Ravenclaw

It’s not just potions brewing at Hogwarts this year! Find out all the juicy details about your friends, classmates, and professors in my gossip column. Names have been cloaked to protect the innocent (and by innocent, I mean me!).

• Which colorfully-named Gryffindor girl has set her sights on a red-headed Keeper? Some late night spell casting might be in their future, but only if she can brew up enough love potion to snag him!

• Terror in the tea leaves! A Hogwarts professor has predicted the death of yet another student. I suggest he watch out for falling cauldrons!

• This Slytherin boy has found some admirers in a pair of first year girls, though more than one witch wants to know what they’re doing lurking around the halls with those scales.

• Which radish-wearing fifth year managed to charm her way into a high-profile Christmas party? It seems being friends with the #1 enemy of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named does have its perks.

• Get ready for a duel! This pair of (allegedly) platonic friends was recently spotted having a full-blown row over school books. Turns out someone can’t stand the thought of not being first in Potions!

• This pigtailed Hufflepuff got a little jittery before last year’s O.W.L.’s, but now friends are saying she’s gone weak in the knees for a certain Herbology classmate.

• Which member of S.P.E.W. recently inherited a house-elf? If he believes in elvish welfare so much, why won’t he just free the poor creature?

• She’s at it again! This red-haired flirt was recently seen canoodling behind a tapestry with her fellow quidditch teammate. 10 points for Gryffindor?

• This Ravenclaw beauty may have a new beau on her arm, but the word around the castle is that she’s been weeping day and night over the loss of her “chosen” guy.

• A certain Slytherin alumni doesn’t want you to know the awful truth – he was raised by muggles!

• Rumor has it that a know-it-all sixth year couldn’t keep her eyes off one of the Gryffindor quidditch team hopefuls during their recent tryouts. The player in question looked a little confused by her attentions… but quickly decided that he’d like to show her a few more of his moves.

• This Hogwarts professor has been seen slinking around the greenhouses late at night. Let’s hope Professor Sprout sics a mandrake on him!

Belicia Babble is the Thestral Gazette’s loose-lipped gossip reporter. She lives in Ravenclaw tower with Prattle, her Pygmy Puff, and loves prying into the personal lives of her classmates. Rumor has it she also blogs as the slightly more discrete Lisa Galek at Read. Write. Repeat.

Thestral Gazette is an unofficial publication for students of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Founded by Luna Lovegood and Colin Creevy, the tabloid continues its fine tradition of yellow journalism under the editorship of Laurel Garver and a large staff of student reporters. To join the reporting staff, contact us at thestralgazette (at) gmail (dot) com.

Back issues of the Thestral Gazette:
Issue 1: Mrs. Norris's secret identity revealed
Issue 2: Being bullied? Weasel your way out.
Issue 3: Viktor Krum Reunites with Former Girlfriend
Issue 4: Umbridge Unmasked
Issue 5: Ask Abby Gabby: Advice for Wizards and Witches

Which of these objects of rumor do you recognize?

13 comments:

  1. Very cute! Makes me want to go back and read the books again. :)

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  2. Wow - that was tough! I read the books so I though it would be a breeze, but there's just so much stuff in those books I can't keep it all straight! Is Ginny the red-haired flirt canoodling behind the tapestry?

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  3. Ha! So cute, Lisa. I mean Belicia. I love the '10 points for gryffindor?' line.

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  4. Aw, so cute Lisa! Love it!!! I think I figured out who was who, but may be a little iffy on a couple. Great job!!

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  5. I recognize them ALL! Great article today!

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  6. Always fun to read about our fellow students...

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  7. Love this! I quizzed my hubby on the clues. I want to go back and read all of them!

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  8. Just great - loose-lipped gossip reporter. So clever!

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  9. PK: No kidding. Lisa has reminded me of so many great moments in the books.

    Susan: I think so. I was tripped up by the pigtailed Hufflepuff. O.W.L.S. were in book five, which I haven't read recently. Hmm....

    Melissa: I wonder if more public snogging gets 20 points. Hee hee.

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  10. Abby: She has so cleverly enticed us to re-read the books, hasn't she?

    Laura: You are a HP aficionado, clearly. Wanna write a post sometime??

    Michael: It sure is! LOL.

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  11. Kelly: How did your hubby do? I sure wanted to reread when I got tripped up by several of these.

    Mary: We have quite the diverse team here at TG!

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  12. Funny!

    My two favorites:

    • This Slytherin boy has found some admirers in a pair of first year girls, though more than one witch wants to know what they’re doing lurking around the halls with those scales.

    • Which member of S.P.E.W. recently inherited a house-elf? If he believes in elvish welfare so much, why won’t he just free the poor creature?

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  13. Sorry I'm so late in visiting (I tried to comment to day of, but my comment box was all wonky). Thanks everyone! Belicia informed me that she is listening in for more scandalous stories for a future column!

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